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Sex addiction is just like a bad habit

October 29, 2023
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At its core, sex addiction can be compared to any other bad habit, like chewing your fingernails. Habits are formed through repetition; when you indulge in an activity repeatedly, your body becomes familiar with it, growing fond of the sensation or experience. In certain circumstances, you’ll find yourself gravitating towards that behavior again.

What’s pivotal to remember here is that these habits, including sex addiction, serve a purpose – they aim to make us feel good. And let’s face it, the intense emotional high from sexual experiences is among the most potent natural highs one can achieve. It’s rivaled only by drug-induced euphoria. Almost immediately, our body associates sex with happiness and joy. However, this association is deceptive. While sex can provide temporary pleasure, it isn’t a lasting source of happiness. Often, individuals struggling with sex addiction will face feelings of shame, guilt, and other negative emotions post-act. It’s as if a fleeting moment of joy is immediately followed by a dark cloud.

One of the main catalysts for continued sex addiction is the thought process that supports it. Individuals trapped in this cycle genuinely believe that sexual experiences (or other external factors) are the key to their happiness. But the reality is, external experiences can’t bring lasting happiness. It’s our internal perceptions and thoughts about these experiences that dictate our desires. 

To combat the cycle of addiction, the focus should be on internal change. By reshaping our thought patterns, we can learn to find joy regardless of our external circumstances. Essentially, mastering our internal world reduces our dependency on external validations or experiences, aiding in addressing and resolving sex addiction.

Emotions play a massive role in driving our behaviors, especially in the context of sex addiction. When faced with negative or uncomfortable emotions, an individual might turn to familiar comforts to alleviate those feelings. For someone struggling with sex addiction, this often means seeking out sexual experiences.

Meditation practices can be incredibly beneficial in this context. By meditating, one learns to sit with their emotions, to understand them, and ultimately, to become acclimated to discomfort. As we grow more tolerant of discomfort, the urgency to turn to maladaptive coping mechanisms like sex addiction reduces.

Sex addiction can be a challenging habit to break.  But with an understanding of its underlying purposes, the thought processes that sustain it, and the skills to regulate emotions, one can move towards a healthier relationship with themselves and their sexuality. The journey might be difficult, but with persistence and self-awareness, a more balanced and joyful life is within reach.

If you need some support, join my free support groups or daily meet ups.