Logo graphic

Why people make light of sex and porn addiction

April 11, 2024
Featured image for “Why people make light of sex and porn addiction”

There seems to be a common misconception that I, as a therapist specializing in sex addiction, might be judging others for their sexuality or sexual behaviors. It’s important to clarify from the outset that this couldn’t be further from the truth. My career has shown me the vast complexities of human sexuality, and judgment has no place in my practice. However, the topic of sex addiction is often met with skepticism or even ridicule. While understandable given our society’s perspectives on sex, those reactions indicate a misunderstanding of the message I wish to convey.

Our society is saturated with sexual content—it’s in our movies, TV shows, video games, and plastered across every conceivable social media platform. A recent example that comes to mind involves a person who attempted to use Facebook just to connect with family but found themselves bombarded with sexual content. This omnipresence of sexual material has led to a normalization of sex that equates it with activities as mundane as drinking water. The prevailing message seems to be: “Engage in as much sex, with as many partners, in whatever way you desire, without concern for consequences.” This laissez-faire attitude towards sex is precisely where my concern lies.

In my years of dealing with sex addiction, I’ve been privy to the dark side that many don’t see. I’ve witnessed individuals on the brink of suicide over infidelities, marriages crumbling, the spread of STDs, and the legal ramifications of sex offenses. These are not rare occurrences but frequent consequences of unchecked sexual behavior. It’s through these experiences that my perspective has been shaped—not out of bias, but out of a deep concern for the individuals affected.

Many might disagree with my standpoint, thinking it outdated or overly cautious. To them, I say: perhaps my message isn’t for you. But I also encourage research and reflection on the consequences of certain sexual behaviors, such as pornography use or having multiple sexual partners. Statistics and studies show clear patterns; for example, engaging in sex with multiple partners significantly increases the likelihood of infidelity in future monogamous relationships, with a subsequent high risk of relationship breakdown.

Most troubling is the emotional toll on those struggling with sex addiction. Many no longer see people as individuals but as objects to fulfill their needs, a perspective so ingrained that it becomes their reality. They are like “birds in a cage,” never having experienced anything different, and thus, unaware of the possibility of a life beyond their current confines.

I want to make it clear: I’m not here to judge. Everyone’s sexual journey is their own, and it’s not my place to dictate right from wrong. My goal is to share insights and offer warnings based on what I’ve observed in my professional life. If you find my perspective unpalatable, feel free to ignore it. However, if any of this resonates with you, if you’re struggling and seeking a way out, know that help is available. You’re not alone, and change is possible.